Too many things to think about

I find myself worrying a lot these days.. been getting less sleep at night because of it. And just before I doze off, I'd feel strong kicks :) They say it's normal at this stage of pregnancy, as it somewhat prepares mom-to-be's for those sleepless nights.

Oh boy.

Back to the topic, I do worry about my emotional well being once I start living in Keramat (even for short while), my husband's eating schedule and habit, his laundry schedule.. and most importantly, taking care of the precious one.

I actually think it's so unlike me, because appearance wise, I do not have the put-together look nor do I behave lady like. So all this planning and thinking somehow feels foreign to my system, yet completely natural. Above all, I enjoy making mental check lists of all the things to buy/bring/wash for this upcoming adventure.

Yesterday morning on our way to work, husband and I discussed briefly on this topic.. which brought a huge smile to my face. I don't know how other couples do it (and I believe it's really none of my business) but most of the time I rarely read about it. At first (and sometimes) I feel I'm over thinking things or being fussy. 

It feels good to have your partner sensing and shares your concern, especially ensuring nothing is left out. I know, we as human beings can only plan, but Allah decides. This just means we have to plan well and hope for the best. He's just the kind who'd remind me if we haven't sort out baby (or my) stuff yet. 

Right now I've started washing and packing.. With my leave around the corner, I suppose I can afford to think more on laundry planning. There are other things I need to revise, though:

• Breast feeding - pumping kit, manual & bottles
• Reading up on breast feeding
• Recite Quran more
• Labor signs

I have about 2 days to go til I leave office for awhile, hence my mood is definitely better than that of earlier week :)

Gearing up

Alhamdulillah.. we just hit 36W few days ago. We went for a check up, this time dear baby played hide and seek so we couldn't see her chubby face. She now weighs 3kg.. which shouldn't have surprised us, but we were still shocked anyway. Alhamdulillah all seems well, doc predicted my water bag would burst with the current rate of water I have in the tummy.

What's bothering me is my weight gain! Oh boy all this while it has increased accordingly, but this time around I put on 2kgs in 3 weeks! I wanted to cry but really there's no one to blame when I've been stuffing myself with sweet things (waffles, cupcakes, sweet breads) from the last check up. Doctor has warned me it may make things difficult (for me to lose weight, that is) if I let it reach til 80! I have 4kgs before that figure and I have 4 weeks to go. *sweating buckets*

So post check up, I have vowed to eat responsibly.. by these steps

1. Limit rice intake to twice daily (even better to once, but let's not dream that big)
2. More fruits and less ice creams
3. More plain water
4. More veggies

Whether I'll succeed, that can only be seen come 8/11 which is next Friday..

Anyhoo, we've sort out 99% of the shopping list with the recent addition being infant massage oil and baby balm for the butt. We chose Buds' and Angel Baby simply because of the organic compound, plus Fabulous Mom had a sale going on so the prices were just too good to pass up! The thing about going all organic has its own pros and cons I suppose.. they're costly (for the sizes they come in) but I suppose we chose for some reassurance that our baby (and later on, children) are not covered in chemicals. 

Yeah we did grow up with Johnson & Johnson, but back then there was really no other choice apart from these similar brands. Frankly, if we are so passionate about BPA-free bottles, breast feeding and using child friendly detergents.. organic skin care seems to make sense as well, right?

But I'm sticking to just the massage oil and baby balm for the moment, as these two will be thoroughly applied and absorbed through the skin, as compared to shower gel and shampoo.

Shopping list aside, we've moved some stuff like bath tub, washed comforter set, tummy binders, swaddle napkins and blankets to my parents' home. The room looks more baby friendly now, with me making some space in our cupboard as well. Soon there'll be the little one sleeping in the cot, and that thought makes me smile :)

We have loads of stuff to pack, not just the hospital bag.. but also our clothes during the one month stay. Our to-do list seems longer as the day looms closer, but the thing is only Allah knows when is the birth date. Insya Allah.

Talking about the date, I've been pondering for weeks when should I start my leave. See, in my company maternity leave starts once the baby is here, but I definitely do not plan to give birth on the train, or worse, in the office. Hence we agreed that I should go for medical leave for 2 full weeks prior to delivery. I actually have 23 days for MC, but I'm not that 'evil' to fully utilize it :) 

At the recent check up, my gynae okay-ed my MC request and I swear my face lit up like those i-City trees. It just so happens the day she agreed to have me on MC falls on the same day my good friend proposed. Insya Allah. And this just means, this week shall be my last before the MC begins. I'm ecstatic, hence the long blog post!

I promised her that I would not stay idle even in my MC, and she recommended I get the bouncing ball. Definitely not the typical O&G doctor, she is. She said one of her patients had quite easy delivery with the ball.. so off we went to KLCC scouting for one. Upon finding one, i was this close to paying it, but husband decided against it because the sales person would not let us try the size we wanted. 

So yeah, the list suddenly gets bigger.. with items and things to do. Oh, I should also jot here that there's definitely a plan to find a place to rent now that the baby's almost here. Alhamdulillah.. it came to me as a good surprise, amidst all these massive preparation. Alhamdulillah for Allah has granted us so much rezeki so far.. May Allah accept our ibadah and bless these sustenance.

See you in the next post!

Antenatal Class Pt 2

Alhamdulillah.. we've reached 35 weeks! *happy tears* couple more weeks before we get to full term (I'm confused, some say 37? 38? 36?).. and I'd like to jot here that we have officially finished shopping for the baby!

Yes.. *confetti streams* husband went out (by himself!) yesterday to get the final things baby-related.. cot & bedding set (for Shah Alam) and bath tub (for Keramat). Alhamdulillah!

Okay, on to the topic.. fourth talk - Pain Management!

I have to admit, among all topics pregnancy related, this is probably the topic I did not read / study at all. The most I knew (before attending this class) was from blogs, which was just a mention of "epi", "entonox", "pethidine".. and frankly, I was OK with that. Because reading it in detail scares me a lot!

The talk was delivered by one of the 6 anesthetist in PCMC, and he came in with surgery attire, holding a backbone replica. He was soft spoken and funny - a good combination that'll come in handy should I need it later :)

He spoke about labour stages, anesthetist availability during labour and of course all the options we have to minimize the pain. Yes, I cringed but I furiously took down the notes because labour pain is something subjective - to each her own. Some doesn't need it, others have to have it.. Right now the best is to be well-informed, and I adapted 'never say never' state of mind when it comes to this topic. Friends have asked whether I'll take epi but it's too soon to say anything kan?

After all, Allah has decided our rezeki, and all we can do is pray for the delivery to be easy, safe & sound. Insya Allah. 

Epidural looks gory.. despite many friends recommending it. Probably the pain justifies needle poking and all. I feel like a chicken surrendering my fate to anesthetist! And this is without thinking about the side effects! Definitely a lot of praying to be done...

Come to think about it, even laughing gas seems scary.. with the risk of baby getting sleepy towards crowning. What I can summarize is that we'd have to know the right timing to opt for any pain management for it to work well.. and first time mothers don't exactly have the advantage of 'knowing'.

Okay, let's go to fifth topic - Newborn Hearing Screening.

This topic is an enlightening.. simply because we (or rather, me) seldom hear about audiologist in a labour room / nursery. There's the gynae, nurses, anesthetist.. but no one I know mentioned about this team. A Senior Audiologist, petite lady, started off this topic with boring (as she vastly mentioned) statistics that somehow I find it scary actually.

Basically at PCMC, they'll conduct few tests to check on the newborn's hearing via a simple gadget. I forgot what's it called though.. I dozed off somewhere this session. Again, this information is very crucial.. I felt like every hospital, private or not, should offer antenatal class with this topic included. I believe every parent needs to be well educated about this, however low the risk may be.. because early detection can then lead to soonest response and treatment. 

Sixth topic - Puerperium

It's actually labor stage :) One of the few topics I made sure I didn't leave my seat. She's one of the two female gynaes in PCMC..and I'm happy to report she's one friendly, reassuring lady. If I were to meet her in Cold Storage, I'd probably wouldn't know she's a doctor. She was very engaging, I felt obliged to throw few questions her way. At the time, I even briefly entertained my thoughts on choosing her for my future second pregnancy!

Anyhow, she described the process as something natural.. and that includes episiotomy! Yes, when she threw the figures (90% of Asians will need to be snipped) at us, I was floored and I think my face went white. Oh boy. I then asked her if perineal massage will help to reduce the potential, of which she simply says "there's no harm in trying"

NOT CONVINCING, this massage! 

Everyone else in the room seemed fine with it, but hey, I'm not about to deliver next to them, so..who knows what'll happen right? Dr Tan later assured jokingly, that the gynaes know the right timing to cut so that we (patients) won't feel a thing. Nice one, doc! 

Somewhere between this topic and previous one, we stopped for lunch, served at Food Galleria downstairs. I ate here once, and I wasn't too impressed so I kinda know what to expect this time around. They served sweet and sour fish fillets, chicken kurma (which I later heard many were complaining it was bland - hello! this is hospital food!), chinese styled veges, and.. ulam and belacan! 

I briefly wondered where would husband eat during our stay..

We then continued with antenatal exercise, in a multipurpose room with yoga mats spread out. The session was lead by a nurse therapist, a cheery one at that. She taught us labour stages, breathing exercises as well as simple movements that could help us with easy delivery. Fun session, except the times I couldn't get up. Seriously, one of the nurses remarked I looked heavy and that it looks near (to delivery). I replied that with a teeth-biting-tongue smile.

Finally, the class concluded with a tour to labour room. My feet was tired and hurt by this time, I was practically limping all the way. The therapist told us to make the room as much homey as possible.. but somehow I don't know how to see it that way. Yes, it comes with a TV, toilet, cabinets and all.. But it is labour phase we're talking here, I'm not sure I'll remember the beautiful KLCC view and chicken nuggets when it's my turn later next month? The room also sits a weighing and cleaning station, just next to the bed.. a reminder that the little one's coming along lits up my face. I hope I can psyche myself because right now I just don't know how I'll react to the pain.

They served bread pudding before we adjourned.. and I had two servings of it :) it was sweet, but Milo complemented it very well I thought. All in all, like I said earlier, it was definitely worth it.. every topic presented and room visited gave us the much needed insight of what PCMC has to offer. Sure, it is scary, but I've set my mind to think that it's something I have to go through.. painful or not, to hold our little one in our arms. I'm just thankful we got the opportunity to attend this one :)

Antenatal Class Pt 1

Alhamdulillah, we got to attend the class as planned last Saturday (12 Oct). The course costed us RM300, which if you ask me, was totally worth it for the whole experience - venue, speakers, food (ok, don't go expect Chili's or Ayam Penyet because this IS hospital food we're talking about) and the labour room tour.

We reached there just in time for breakfast (they served 2 types of sandwiches, mineral & Milo - so thoughtful , but of course, it's a hospital!) at the foyer. We were then ushered into an auditorium just near the cafe. I never noticed that hall before, despite monthly (and before that, yearly) visits to PCMC! 

Registration was smooth, as there wasn't too many couples attending.. and we were given a bag of goodies.

*pause* I wish i can upload the pictures here, but my phone is currently having issues.. sigh.

Anyway, the auditorium was quite big. It had 4 regular screens and 1 big in the middle. The screens shows presentation packs and the speakers alternately.. so every move the speaker makes will be visible to us, no matter where we sit! The facility reminded me of Convec's and Permata training centre.. Well, they all are owned by PETRONAS pun kan.. The seats were comfy and each came with a side sliding board, for us to take notes. So let's see if I can still remember what I learnt last weekend :)

First - Eating Right Throughout Pregnancy (or something like that) by in house dietician.

As we're approaching the last weeks of pregnancy, I consider the info was a bit too late. Nevertheless, I took notes because I surely will need them for #2 later. (Eh?) She gave us the breakdown of additional calories needed by trimester, and what is the exact portion. 

Second - Baby care & bath, by a CN.

I know most of us mommies get by without this lesson just fine, but it surely doesn't hurt learning from the expert, no? Especially the ones doing it day in day out, year in year out. Because we moms do it up to certain number of years, and differently as our children grows. But these wonderful nurses? It is their job, looking after the babies. So, obviously each step of the procedure has its own objective. 

Previously I asked around whether a newborn needs cotton wool to clean their eyes area.. As most friends said they didn't, I KIV'ed the item and decided to wait for this class. Well, I can now say with confidence, yes, we need those small balls! In fact, we had bought this yesterday during our weekly grocery shopping. See, the class is beneficial! Few points worth capturing here:

• Although the hospital provides everything we can think of, the baby is only swaddled and diapered. Yes. So it's recommended to bring the outfits.
• It's understandable that a newborn generates thrill and excitement to families, relatives and friends.. but you'll want take a day to recover before you can receive visitors. Labour is no joke, man. Personally, I would always ask friends when should I visit them, because I understand they need rest.

        And of course, I'd want to savour these first moments with just the three of us - me,         baby & husband :) 

      

        Plus, let the baby rest comfortably.. because EVERY visitor would want to carry and           gently rock the baby. She then demonstrated how a baby is passed from one visitor           to another, causing unnecessary headache for baby. "Then, everyone goes home               happy, and you're left with a crying baby"

        HOW TRUE! Definitely will caution them!!

• CN told us mommies to dress up on the second day! "Go put some nice clothes on, some make up.. it'll make you feel good.. why on earth do you want to wear hospital gowns?" Ok noted, definitely bringing more front button shirts then :)
• Mittens and booties are best used up til 6 weeks only! 

She taught the proper way to bathe a baby, with doll demos, basin with water and all. I definitely am thankful for this information because I've never had any experience handling newborn.. And things (specifically procedures) have changed since I was born. 

Third - Breastfeeding

I personally felt this topic, no matter how much you think you're prepared for, should best be learnt at a talk like these. Books, friends' stories & tips, blogs, journals.. they wouldn't do so much justice as listening to a real Lactation Counsellor speak. One of the many, many things I love about this class is that the speakers encouraged us to ask questions. 

I also discovered that PCMC offers breastfeeding classes every Monday and Thursday as well.. Although I'm not sure about the price, it sure sounds good to us first time mothers who are still figuring things out kan? 

Oh yeah, before I forget, there will be a nurse checking up on us and baby's well being for as long as we're in the hospital. Isn't that nice?

Okay, I should stop here.. will continue in the next post!

33 weeks

Alhamdulillah, we're at 33 weeks ++ now. Few days left til Saturday, of which we have antenatal class to attend, and this pregnancy shifts to week 34. Subhanallah, every day time goes on quickly and this bump is growing well.. I know I'll miss being pregnant :)

But for now, we're enjoying the kicks, stretching, turning and punching from the outside. The movements got me all smiley, thinking how precious and magical Allah's creation are. One night husband chuckled while looking at my tummy's getting pokes from different angles. Baby's probably going 'look at me daddy, look what i can do' as her father stares in awe. Such a delight, this little one.

In terms of her growth, recent check up indicated her estimated weight now currently at 2.1++ kg. Wow. Growing beautifully as the graph shows, says Dr Seri. Alhamdulillah. Speaking of check up, last week we got there 5 minutes later than scheduled. I know, i know.. totally our fault. So we had to wait about an hour as Dr Seri had to assist a delivery. Honestly, we were totally fine with it.. because birthing period are all decided by Allah anyway. And this just confirms our decision to choose her is correct because it means she will be there during my delivery, insya Allah! Plus PCMC ambience was calm, and in order so there was nothing to complain about.

We still have items yet to purchase, such as bath tub, baby cot & its beddings, my pyjamas, socks & pads, and finally.. the oils & lotions! I have been delaying in purchasing these simply because I wanted read more on the ingredients and its function. Like I said earlier, I would only buy things after thorough read-up. So yes, finally I have made up my mind to get a balm for bum, an infant essential massage oil and newborn cream.

Shopping list aside, we have been spending time on washing baby clothes, setting up cot (which includes rearranging our bed and closet at Keramat) and slowly moving things to Keramat. Suddenly it seems surreal, we're about to become parents insya Allah. Our weekends have been filled with baby preparation activities! From checkup to just baby laundry at home.. it's been an eventful yet joyful period so far.

I'm almost halfway reading the What to expect book, and I realized there are still so many things I have yet to learn & plan - breast feeding (managing EBM, sterilizing), our laundry & logistics! Oh yeah, on delivery process itself.. but I'll leave that for antenatal class to teach us :) The hospital bag checklist are 95% complete I think.. all that's left is to start packing. Interestingly, most of the stuff consists of ours! 

Four weeks left to full term insya Allah, and week after that my parents will be returning from Hajj. Above all preparation, one that needs consistent implementation is spending time devoting to Allah. During my recent stay at the parents', they organized a qiam session, with ustaz to lead the prayers. I'm so thankful to Allah I managed to wake up and focus on the session. It really does help and motivate me to do on my own. With less than 7 weeks to go, I really want to do more in my ibadah as I need Him more than ever.. because Allah has granted this beautiful serene journey. 

May Allah ease my delivery process, may Allah bless this baby with great state of health in gestation and upon her arrival onwards, may Allah grants this baby with perfection in her organs and personality.. Amiin.

When it's no more about you

Pregnancy is one wonderful journey, alhamdulillah for this experience given. It changes me & husband in so many ways.. they say husbands will only be more caring when the wives are expecting. I have to say, i disagree completely.. but only regarding my husband of course :) He's been more than attentive since we got married, i suppose we learn from each other along the way. I mean, that's the whole point of being married right.. complementing each other. And by the last sentence, our weight now are roughly the same. Hehe.

Yes, this journey has brought about so many changes physically.. I'm just in awe of daily kicks and bumps and of course, the expanding waistline. There're so many things to think of, losing weight is the least of my worries. Like, #1000 out of 1000. This pregnancy has also taught me a lot on patience. Most of the time i could keep my composure, other times i let loose.

Especially when I've spent half a day on thinking (mostly baby preparation) and my mind just gets tired of exercising the virtue of relaxing. I know, it's not good. Believe me, I've been wishing more than once, that this baby inherits her father's level of patience. So far i see her having her mind of her own.. very much like her father :)

Being pregnant and thinking a lot also made me a susceptible victim to the drama of others. Others here refers to everyone than my husband. I tend to think and dwell on others' issues. I know, not good. 

And people don't really ask me how i'm doing, just as long as their issues are heard.

It's been going around for so long that i couldn't care less, but now that i'm expecting i really have little attention span. I would dedicate my time, and then dispense advice(s).

The problem now is that don't see my advice(s) any worthy. 

I've vented my frustration at husband, and he comforted me endless times. Today, however, I decided it's the time to stop.

Stop caring about others who don't to themselves. 

Stop getting into hot soup, even with good intention.

Because, it's not just me that i've to think about.. This baby will demand my attention day and night, and she deserves it. She is my amanah from Allah, hence all my thoughts should go to her (for now).