The new evil

...also known as Instagram. 

Hello there! Been awhile since I last post. I was thinking of writing this for a few days already.. but of course, Raihanna sits on the throne of my time.. :)

When i first downloaded this app, the only thing that i feel like doing was following celebrities I like. I had googled list of celebrities on IG and like a school girl, I followed them. The year was 2011, i even had Luna Maya as people I'm following. Not quite sure what exactly was I thinking, but hey, that's the truth. But as time goes on, I got hooked on other apps and Instagram was forgotten. I do post some pictures from time to time, but I was actively removing celebrities as such from my list.. something to do with age and maturity haha.

2012 came and that was the year of defining everything that mattered to my life. Work and family engagements means more photos in Instagram. In between train commutes and waiting for lifts, I was thinking of:

a. What was the intention of me having Instagram?

b. Why am I posting pics in FB and IG?

These life changing questions led to a different direction of my IG list these days. I know right, so analytical about a silly app that sometimes I get told off for being on it too long than what my husband could handle. Ok, don't get me wrong.. we didn't fight over it, just a gentle reminder that life is more than an app.. :)

It was in 2013 i think.. when my following list includes more than just friends. I discovered magazines, cooks and photographers were on IG. Aside from their fantastic shots (or just amazing editing apps), i loved the fact that it came with a story underneath a picture. Felt like an educational program, really.

That year was also the year that i got to know people can make money from IG itself! There was clothing lines, there was cakes... man was I excited to know people can actually sell things in IG! For some, I had already owned or tried their products (ie. Poplook, Zawara, Cupcake Chapter, Bebetotz) when i found out they have an IG account. For the others, it was IG doing the introducing and me then started ordering (ie. Tudung People, Mazlianul Maznan, The Sumbs). 

As last year was pretty much eventful yet sentimental, I just somehow lost interest in FB.. It got too emotional i think, that FB. Words somehow fitted perfectly in blog, and pictures...most of my life that I felt worth capturing went to IG instead. Food posts, pregnancy shots and of course my little girl.. typical mommy IG user! Of course i got too analytical again, caring too much about what others may think if i were to post up any picture.

Silly me..that's all I'll say.

During confinement I thought of how much have I changed physically, mentally and emotionally. Some of these changes had impacted my interest in brands I follow in IG, believe it or not. For better or worse? Both actually. Better cos for instance, I found headscarves that lets me cover my head, neck and chest properly... and worse, because you can only imagine the damage it has cost to my wallet!

To date, most of my photo feeds consist of baby shops (Marissa, Bebe, Mom's Touch) and headscarves (Rina Salleh, L'Adorn, Ariani, Tudung People).. which could mean only one thing: your interests are what defines you! (omg, i need IG to know that?)

But really, lately I've been thinking whether that Storksak is really a necessity... Went back and forth on this, since early this year. The main culprit is of course Instagram, with several boutiques selling this brand with oh-so-tempting price. Husband has been asking when am I going to get it, since I've been asking his opinion for far too long now.

That, and the OXO Tot On-the-go Brush and Drying Rack..

...and Nuna Leaf. 

Maybe I should consider quitting Instagram?

The race

I am currently experiencing weekend withdrawal syndrome.. so bad that I can't focus at work. Not good not good. But i'm venting it here, with high hopes the feelings will go off soon, and the much needed spirit to work will somehow eat me.

Anyway, like every other working mom out there, I'm doing two races in a day.

One, the race to work. Each morning I get up and rush.. once i park my car then only I could breathe normally. Rush again to office and settle in for the day. Rush back home sometime in the evening. I don't know if moving to much closer location would result in less rushing.. But traffic and me, we're best enemies. I only could tolerate it with some food in hand. Which is almost daily, me nibbling. I truly hope breastfeeding will have mercy on me and shed those fat.

Two, the race at work. I don't know how it is, but Iately I feel like scheduling my tasks by the hour. It's because I always feel i'm shortchanged.. Am i the only one? Sometimes I feel time is under control once I perform solat on time.. sometimes I perform solat much later, and somehow I find I'm running out of time to settle my tasks. Which makes me dislike non-technical meetings.. always find it a waste of time. Lately I've been eating in a lot more, to cut down time out. 

... but what I regret at the end of each day, is not being able to race to be a better Muslim. Race to recite more Quran, to memorize Al Mulk etc. Why is it every single time we end our solat we feel much sadness, but we seem to repeat it again and again? When will I put a stop to it and find time to REALLY do all that?

Lately I've been thinking a lot about the judgement day. Like somehow it finally dawned upon me that this world is temporary.. the eternal life is nothing we could ever imagined. And how unprepared I am. How sinful i have been. 

I hope I can do more about this race.