The race

I am currently experiencing weekend withdrawal syndrome.. so bad that I can't focus at work. Not good not good. But i'm venting it here, with high hopes the feelings will go off soon, and the much needed spirit to work will somehow eat me.

Anyway, like every other working mom out there, I'm doing two races in a day.

One, the race to work. Each morning I get up and rush.. once i park my car then only I could breathe normally. Rush again to office and settle in for the day. Rush back home sometime in the evening. I don't know if moving to much closer location would result in less rushing.. But traffic and me, we're best enemies. I only could tolerate it with some food in hand. Which is almost daily, me nibbling. I truly hope breastfeeding will have mercy on me and shed those fat.

Two, the race at work. I don't know how it is, but Iately I feel like scheduling my tasks by the hour. It's because I always feel i'm shortchanged.. Am i the only one? Sometimes I feel time is under control once I perform solat on time.. sometimes I perform solat much later, and somehow I find I'm running out of time to settle my tasks. Which makes me dislike non-technical meetings.. always find it a waste of time. Lately I've been eating in a lot more, to cut down time out. 

... but what I regret at the end of each day, is not being able to race to be a better Muslim. Race to recite more Quran, to memorize Al Mulk etc. Why is it every single time we end our solat we feel much sadness, but we seem to repeat it again and again? When will I put a stop to it and find time to REALLY do all that?

Lately I've been thinking a lot about the judgement day. Like somehow it finally dawned upon me that this world is temporary.. the eternal life is nothing we could ever imagined. And how unprepared I am. How sinful i have been. 

I hope I can do more about this race.