Motivation

In the last few weeks I have been very fortunate to have the opportunities to sit through two presentations related to my work scope. Both were given by two different companies but it was based on the same thing - preservation of environment. 

Without being too specific of what I do for living, I really feel like telling it all here on the contentment I feel attending these sessions. Enriched, empowered, enlightened...It was like stepping out of spa, you know? 

One was given by an environmental conservationist, while the other by a drilling engineer. Each had opposite outlook from the other on the same objective, and that's fine with me. What struck to me the most is how passionate they are in what they do. It was really transparent, vivid.. that was reflected on the way they presented it. 

I love the way they describe each of their activities, so structured, concise and relaxed. The first presenter was coincidentally from my alma mater, so yeah I can't help but feel proud. (Dan dan). He presented in such way that I was in awe, really. Beautiful corals aside, he even volunteered to do extra work, out of his love for Mother Nature.

Second presenter gave a detailed presentation on his work, leaving not much room for question. Mostly he tackled each angle, from start to end of activity. The hows and whys were clear and ticked off all the boxes in my to-comment list.

The outcome from both discussions aside, I love meeting and knowing these guys. There are just not too many people so passionate about their work these days, that's for sure. Apart enriching my technical know-how, these guys may not realize it but they've taught me passion makes the job a whole lot better. They executed it flawlessly, no doubt some fundamental years were well spent developing them. 

What's surprising is at the end of each session, they've managed to make me think out of the box. The first one got me thinking boy i need a diving licence soon, and the other makes me consider offshore trip soon. Because I was thinking " i want to see all these from my own eyes".

I know I am not in this solely for the money, but I need to do some soul searching on what is my motivation. Seriously, i wish i could have people see their work. Remarkable.

Starting fresh

So last Friday i left office with the thoughts of "what a busy Monday and Friday i'll have next week".

..and came back three days later to find my drawers were wide open.

Oh no, i thought. Then I saw my distraught superior, and it confirms my gut telling me my laptop has been stolen.

So my Monday became free and easy, no thanks to the thief.. but not without some hassle to keep me busy. Had to report a theft case, and the procedure certainly kept me occupied throughout the day.

I think I became numb that day. I was sad, yes, but really there isn't anything my tears can do about it. I was thinking of the data kept inside that machine, that consisted of 5 whole years working here. EVERYTHING, really.

But somehow Allah made me calm and patient throughout this whole episode. He made me realize, time and time again, that nothing really lasts forever. Everything is temporary, either ours or not. That realization kept me grounded and still few smiles came out from me.

I don't know if i'll get every info back, but now as I'm typing using a new one (Thank you, dear big boss! Now i have no excuse of not completing my job!) I realize this is a fresh start of things. New set of folders, new set of data.. Of course this means starting some task from scratch.. but you gotta do what you gotta do, right?

But what i hate the most now, is that I have to go home everyday with an extra bag.. in addition to my pumping bag and hand bag. This means:

 (i) every pit stop at petrol station or hypermarket must be carefully planned. for solat purpose, then i have to lug it with me. other matters, just freaking go home and wait til weekend

(ii) things that used to be in my handbag (keys, wallet, make up pouch) will now be transferred to the laptop bag.. which is dangerous because it always sits on our backs!

(iii) careful placement in my car during driving

Really, you genius thief.. I wouldn't mind you taking it, but please complete all my pending work til end of this year.

Bottle Drama

Assalamualaikum :D

Once upon a time, there was a first time mom who had 6 sleepless nights thinking of how her newborn will survive on bottle. 6 because she had exactly 1 week before her current employment begins, after 2 and 1/2 months of leave.

...yes, let it be known that story of mine. Looking back, everything about it warrants a smile. But that week I was frantic, I was emotional, I was scared..even more than when i found out i was gonna be delivering via c-section. (don't know about you, but yes i was scared during that operation).

They say you should bottle train your infant once (i) breastfeeding is successfully established, (ii) your infant aged 6 weeks. From that point forward, there was so many things that confused (and scared) me of this bottle training.. for example, nipple confusion (one of the things i was scared about), bottle rejection (more on this later) and the frequency of bottle training per day.

So there was I, first time mom, not knowing what to make of all the above, decided to just delay the training.. I was (and still am, Alhamdulillah) enjoying breastfeeding, and starting bottle is just another hassle (lame reason, but yes) i wasn't willing to go through, apart from confinement.

I had a fever during confinement..till now, i wasn't sure what was the cause, but those 24 hours was torturing. Simply because I wasn't able to direct feed. I was given meds, and thank Allah i had already stored some milk. Little R had her first taste of bottle then. Avent Starter, bought during a baby expo.

Fast forward to some 4 weeks later, where we had settled in back in Shah Alam. For the first time postnatal, husband insists I should accompany him to grocery shopping. That night, bottle was given.

...noticed that she's had the same bottle in the span of few weeks.

And then came the final week of my long leave. I was obviously dreading it, but I gotta make a living :( so there was me, hiding in the room when she woke up and had my nanny feed her.

When it happened.

What happened?

Bottle rejection happened. 

I was shocked, puzzled and sad. She had that bottle, what's wrong with it NOW? So many things were going through my mind, but we decided okay, let her cry it out.

Wrong move.

She cried her lungs out, that my nanny couldn't take it no longer and handed her to me. In my mind, i tried to stay strong eventhough I was crying buckets. It was only 2 hours, and we both give in.

Second day. I made the decision to go out, with hopes she'll drink it once she sees I'm not in her sight.

Day 2 failed. I, on the other hand, had pumped in petrol station's surau...went to shops. And nanny called, saying she just couldn't take the crying. Aiyo. Baby refused bottle in 4 hours. Man, that protesting isn't my trait, let me assure you.

There and then, i went on a shopping spree. I remembered buying Suavinex, Avent (different teat size) and MAM. Yes, all three at one go at Marissa Shoppe. The salesgirls assured my baby is bound to like MAM.

 Of course i believed it. 

And of course they were wrong. Haih. I got more and more desperate. The next day, husband and I went grocery shopping at Giant sans baby. At this point I was asking a lot of mommy friends for their recommendations of bottle.

We straight away headed to the baby section.. I took Pureen, Disney Baby and Fiffy..  I remembered telling both nanny and husband, if Raihanna likes any of these...i would buy em in trolley loads. THAT'S how desperate i am.

Total brand to date: 7

Rushed home and excitedly briefed my nanny on which brand to start. Next day came, and as usual I went out. Training commences, and i wandered aimlessly. Okay, i lied. I was scanning other baby shops in case she rejected the latest 3.

Oh, this was on Saturday.. 1 more day to go, and no favourite bottle in sight. I had broke down this point, thinking how she would suffer in thirst once I start my work. My paed adviced us to just let her cry it out.

....i am just not that strong willed, not ever. That night I asked friends in Facebook pulak, to see what can they come up with. I got interesting suggestions.. use syringe, spoon.. and i also was introduced to Pigeon. Up to this point I haven't heard much of this brand, so i was really sceptical when two different friends highly recommended it.

It was a hot Saturday, and i went from one baby shop to another. It came to the point where i almost gave up, and sat in my car, feeling thirsty myself. The last baby shop i went in and spent some on Tommee Tippee bottles and teats.

Total brand to date: 8

So somehow i decided to head to Tesco and buy some fish. I know, weird thinking. But I suppose Allah has decided that would be the day i finally found THE bottle. Haha. I just couldn't believe my eyes when I saw Pigeon at Tesco! I got a bottle and few teats in different sizes.

Btw, Pigeon isn't cheap like a salesgirl in OBW suggested. Makes me wonder why these baby shops does not carry this brand. Seriously, they are reputable manufacturer for years now. Surely it has to account for something!

Rushed back home, and...yes. Syukur alhamdulillah finally she took it without a tear shed. I felt like I won the Olympics! 

Sunday came with much trepidation. Like any moment she can just refuse it, and i really have run out of options of brands!!

She passed that 1 day bottle test..phew!! And all other bottles have been kept (and some given away) in one huge container that'll be presented to her on her birthday :D :D

So now, we'll just stick to Pigeon, thank you very much!!